Weddings
May 17th, 2008
I’m an assistant to a wedding coordinator for my church, so over the last year I’ve been to more weddings than I’ve attended in my entire life. During this year I’ve grown to have definite ideas about how a wedding should be planned and run. By no means do I consider myself an expert in the field, but having been exposed to this field I have some insight into what would make a great wedding.
Weddings are generally the same only with different people. Why mess with a winning formula right? It shouldn’t be about the wedding but about two people coming together before God and family, making a public declaration about their love and commitment to one another. Even so, that doesn’t mean it needs to be a yawn-fest.
What are the fundamentals of the wedding. You have your pastor, priest or officiant, the bride, groom, bridesmaids, groomsman, candle lighters, flower girl, ring bearers, ushers and wedding singer or instrumentalists. These members have distinct roles that never get changed 95% of the time, all but the officiant and musicians walk down the aisle, nervously and faster than they need then they all stand up front and do their thing.
Maybe this is the best (read: cheapest) way a wedding should go, it’s time tested and seems to be the most efficient. However as I was sitting at the wedding I was working today, I was thinking of how different a wedding would be if I had both planned and coordinated it.
Here is a quick justjason primer on weddings.
Corralling the Masses
It is essential that guests do not cross the aisle. There are a couple of ways to avoid this, the first line of defense are ushers. It is there job to ensure that guests are sitting in the right place. This role is not for the timid, they need to be older and able to give proper direction. This job should not be given to anyone under the age of 16. This role is ideal for single men in their 20’s, it’s a perfect opportunity for them to subtly flirt with nearly every single woman in attendance. Weddings are a great place to meet potential partners.
The second line of defense is a swag to close off the ends of pews or rows of chairs. This is a visual reminder that guests are not to cross the aisle. The aisle is reserved for the bride and bridal party, more on this later.
Taming the Children
Children should have minimal roles, if any throughout the ceremony. Many of the traditional roles are minor like the flower girl, ring bearers and page boys. Incorporating children into the ceremony leads to unpredictable moments that can bring the wedding to a stand still. While I believe that all three of the positions are expendable. I am willing to keep only the flower girl as she is the only one of the three that has any real purpose.
The purpose of the flower girl is to spread flowers or petals along the aisle. Historically, children don’t do a very good job of this, instead there will be small piles of petals along the aisle rather than spread gracefully down the aisle. The problem, children have no grace. A teenage girl between the ages of 12 and 16 would be perfect to do this job.
Fire Hazard
Ditch the candle lighters. Candles are pretty, but candle lighters can only light so many candles before the entire ceremony comes to a stand still and your guests are shifting in their seats. Have the candle lighters light the candles before the ceremony begins rather than during. It would be all right if they were continuing to light the candles while guests are being seated.
Down the Aisle
Here is a radical thought, have only females walk down the aisle. Traditionally the groom or a groomsman will escort the grandparents, parents and any number of other relatives down the aisle and seat them. I would much rather pay homage to the successful marriages before by having the fathers and grandfathers of the bride and groom stand at the end of the aisle and separately watch as their brides of 30+ years walk down the aisle again. Once the mothers reach the end of the aisle, the fathers take their hands, kiss them on the cheek and seat them. If by chance the parents are divorced, it would be the grooms job to seat both mothers, sans the kissing of course.
The father of the bride exits and goes to meet his daughter. During this time the flower girl will be walking slowly down the aisle spreading flowers. Once the flower girl is down the aisle, there is silence. The doors open and the bride and father of the bride walk down the aisle as tradition dictates.
Once the vows have been made the pronouncement pronounced the groom and the bride walk back up the aisle to wedded bliss. With the way this ceremony went, the only two males to walk along the aisle are the father before the marriage and the groom after. The wedding party and family can then follow the bride and groom up the aisle.
The Reception
Am I really going to make changes to the reception? No, but this is a prime opportunity to get the children involved in the wedding. Give each child a disposable camera and have them take pictures. This is really the only acceptable job a child can have during the wedding celebration as it requires no real skill and they can have some fun while doing it.
Well, there you have it, how I would do weddings differently. Surely there are be even more variants I can think of but so far this post has taken me longer to write than an actual wedding itself.
Tags: wedding
